Photo: Unsplash | Nick Fewings
Is Saying ‘Sorry’ Complicated For Retailers?
A new book, “Sorry, Sorry, Sorry: The Case for Good Apologies,” argues that apologies often come off as insincere because they’re viewed as admissions of guilt or weakness.
Authors Marjorie Ingall and Susan McCarthy write in the book, “An apology doesn’t mean you’re weak. It means you’re strong enough to take responsibility for your actions and to try to make things right.”
The book details six steps to a good apology:
- Saying, “I’m sorry” (i.e., not “I regret”);
- Saying what you’re apologizing for;
- Showing you understand why [your behavior] was bad;
- Not making excuses;
- Promising not to do it again;
- Make reparations (if relevant).
Studies show many ways apologies can backfire.
Research led by Cleveland’s Case Western Reserve University found that continuing to apologize after the first seven seconds of a customer-resolution conversation will most likely backfire because the customer wants to hear how their problem is being solved.
“Employees should focus on energetically and creatively exploring a range of potential solutions to the problem. This brainstorming phase, more than anything else, is what customers will use to assess the encounter — and the more ingenuity an employee shows, the better,” the study’s authors told the Harvard Business Review.
A broader trend toward over-apologizing, seen as a knee-jerk reaction for many individuals, risks weakening the impact of genuine apologies. A Wall Street Journal article last year stated, “The apology is running amok in conversations and communications. We drop it indiscriminately, crying mea culpa for all manner of things we really shouldn’t be sorry for – and diluting the apologies that truly matter.”
A study led by researchers at New Mexico State University further found that although it depends on the situation, showing appreciation instead of apologizing – i.e., saying “Thank you for your patience” instead of “Sorry for making you wait” – works better in restoring a wronged customer’s satisfaction.
The study states, “The shift of focus in the service provider–consumer interaction, from emphasizing service providers’ fault and accountability (apology) to spotlighting consumers’ merits and contributions (appreciation), can increase consumers’ self-esteem and, in turn, post-recovery satisfaction.”
Discussion Questions
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS: Why do apologies often fall flat or backfire at retail? What advice do you have for store associates or customer service reps about handling situations where an apology may be helpful?
Poll
Loading …BrainTrust
John Lietsch
Chief Operating Officer, Bloo Kanoo
Michael La Kier
Vice President, Brand Development - IGA, Inc.
We all make mistakes and should all be willing to apologize when mistakes happen. In service-oriented businesses (like retail), mistakes can happen for various reasons. When mistakes happen, the key is to take responsibility and ensure procedures are put in place to prevent the same service failure from happening again. Retailers must give front-line employees the leeway — and responsibility — for fixing issues.
There is nothing wrong with saying sorry as long as it is done genuinely and sincerely. It backfires when this is not the case. Most situations where you need to apologize can be turned to the company’s advantage if handled correctly. Customers appreciate it and will be loyal if they think they have been treated well. What you do not want is half-hearted platitudes where the customer can see it as just that. In that case they will get upset and you will lose their loyalty.
Often a retailer’s apology is worded in such language that it gives consumers the impression that the retailer missed the point altogether.
“I’m sorry” is not the end of an apology. It’s the beginning. If the words are not followed by and supported by actions, then the apology is indeed hollow. If it rises to the level of an apology, then it’s a learning moment and warrants changed behavior.
Exactly. Say what you mean, mean what you say.
Customers want their problems solved as quickly as possible. This needs to be a genuine response with a range of creative solutions available to the associate. Otherwise, it could turn into a bad customer experience that could turn a top 20 percent key customer into a historic failure. These interactions are even more important than sales conversions and need an intense focus.
Long story short, hearing a customer service representative read “sorry” from a script is just, well, sorry. Retailers should be asking customers what went wrong and what they would like done about it–then do it.
I agree with the Wall Street Journal. Apologies are running amok in communications making them meaningless because they are often presented with the expectation of being a sufficient cure or with little sincerity (“I’m sorry for making you wait” but I guarantee if you call again, you’ll wait again, maybe longer.) It’s okay to apologize sincerely for something specific, detail the steps to correct the issue (if possible) and then actually take the specified steps. There’s nothing weak in accepting responsibility. In fact, I would argue that the world could use more people accepting responsibility for their actions and less people finding others to blame.
I believe “sorry” is one of the most meaningless words in English. It is an automatic response people give, often without even understanding why one is being sorry.
Solving the offense is the only way to make “sorry” meaningful. For a retailer, it should be a call to action. If you don’t know what action is appropriate, figure it out. You may find out that “sorry” isn’t the solution.
Mistakes happen, whether induced by technology or humans. But the focus needs to shift to creative problem solving immediately after the first apology has been delivered. Customers want to hear progress and the only way this can happen is to focus on the next remediation steps. All service-oriented companies need to place emphasis on training associates to problem solve. This is not a “one and done” course either. It’s a series of ongoing trainings that focus on solving progressively more complex situations.
Noting makes my teeth grind like when I hear a customer service rep who I know cares not a whit about me tell me how sorry they are that my router isn’t working, or something was delivered damaged, or whatever.
It’s just part of the script, I can feel it, and I know it. It actually would rankle me less if they said “That’s unfortunate. Let’s see what I can do to solve that.” Retailers have to decide if they actually care, or not. If they cared, their investments would be different.
Yes, and the ones who don’t debate me or make me go through gyrations – who simply respond with “Let’s see what I can do” and then act are the businesses I proactively support. Sometimes it’s a small gesture, sometimes it requires more. Customer loyalty can be built during failures.
A sincere apology goes a long way to building trust. An insincere apology is a disaster.
At the heart of a true apology is a real understanding of the customer’s problem. All of us need to be heard, acknowledged and then believe in the solution provided. High maintenance customers can appear to be exhausting, but there is a real issue which needs to be addressed. Acceptance and respect will go a long way in resolving both the current problem and improving/creating/maintaining the long term relationship.
Sincere apologies need to be paired with an action plan that’s regularly updated to show progress towards benchmarks/KPIs. Words alone are cheap, restructuring to avoid the issue in the future is not.
Say a company gets called out for greenwashing. By creating a goal — say 95 percent recycled plastic by 2033 — and providing updates on progress 2x a year, the retailer can create trust in a situation born of discord. Apologies should only occur when there’s a direct action plan to move forward.
In an age where empathy, understanding, and kindness matter more than ever, saying sorry may be the hardest thing to do. However retail companies driving forward customer-first strategies have to take an empathy-first approach to ensure that the top priority is providing an outstanding customer experience.
A customer’s relationship with a brand or retailer is a fragile one. Retailers must ensure they are responsible and accountable for executing against their brand promise and keeping customers front and center in every single strategy. Serving customers is the heart of a retailer or brand’s purpose and existence. Saying sorry and being empathetic when things go wrong will go a long way.
Apologies fall flat because we live in a polarized culture. A large percentage of people are always apologizing, even for things that aren’t their fault, and an equally large percentage of folks don’t believe they have to apologize for anything. For those of you in between, I’m sorry. As for apologies at retail the important thing is to acknowledge the problem and quickly move on to the solution. Customers want problems resolved and successful service recovery is the best apology there is.
One of the issues most people have when they get an apology from a retailer is they don’t believe it’s sincere but rather just something the giver has been taught to say. I agree that the best way for a retailer to handle an apology is to do everything possible to make sure one is not needed and, if one is needed, to train associates to make it right for the customer.
Good leadership accepts responsibility for the good and the bad. And when it’s bad, they articulate it in a way that proves why they are in leadership. There is an art to the apology, especially in business. It’s one thing to train people to apologize one-on-one. It’s another when a public apology is made on behalf of the company. One of my favorite examples of how to handle a crisis, apologize, and look like a hero comes from the Starbucks incident in Philadelphia a few years back when two African-American men were arrested (and shouldn’t have been). Then CEO, Howard Schultz was masterful in how he apologized and followed up. (Google it!)
Perhaps the phrase “Let me see what I can do to improve this situation” would be a better response. Sorry rolls off people’s lips far too easily or automatically.
Ownership is the key to a successful apology. Own your actions, good or bad, no excuses. That’s why customer service apologies fail. The person making the apology isn’t the cause and, too often, doesn’t have the ability to make it right.
One of the biggest failings in handling negative customer feedback correctly is not listening or having empathy. Customers first need to feel heard. It doesn’t take much retail training for this. Second, taking action with a small fix will often solve most issues. Responding by saying “let’s see what we can do here…” is all it takes. Why has this become the exception rather than the rule?
Today’s society is so hypersensitive that retailers must walk on eggshells. The problem with apologies is that there are so many of them that almost none of them carry any value or meaning, anymore.
Apologies are perceived as routine responses to whatever even the smallest portion of the public, or consumer base, might be “offended” about. In today’s “cancel culture,” retailers cannot inject humor or even certain types of kindness into its messaging without risk of unwanted ramifications.
What I wish we could overcome in our modern society is not requiring people, or companies, to apologize for saying exactly what they meant to say in the first place.
But it seems that even insincere apologies are sufficient in many instances to make the problem “go away.” -Db
An apology may or may not be neccessary. What is always neccessary is actively listening to the customer, resolving the issue to their satisfaction, not being defensive, and phrasing things in a way that show you care about the customer. There are often many ways to deliver the same message, and delivering it in the most positive way makes it much more likely the customer will leave satisfied.
First, you treat the customer – apologize. Then, you address the problem – fix it. To many times associates are reluctant to apologize because they believe saying “I’m sorry” is equivalent to saying “I’m guilty.” When one says they are sorry to a customer the intention is to recognize the impact on the customer. Now, the focus can shift to how can it can be resolved to the satisfaction of both parties.
Customer Service is a tough job, “I am sorry” is perfectly fine. From a contact center point of view if you cannot offer the customer exactly what they want, hopefully your band knows the customer well enough, through data & interactions curated for to the agent, to offer the customer something of value, information, or a reason for reengaging with the brand in the future.